Can you see her? The widow sitting alone in her small living room. She might know the warmth of a dog asleep in her lap or maybe it the purring from her cat. She needs hope in the holidays.
Look at the couple ice skating in the park. No, look closer. They are clinging to each other, not just because of the slick ice, but because of the hole that infertility has left in their lives and they are afraid of falling into a chasm of … well … dark.
I know this isn’t fun, which is what the holidays are meant to be – fun, warm, filled with family, friends, good stories and rich food.
But we need to see the people around us that are struggling to have a holiday that is bright.
Susan Troth sees them. She has been where they are – ten years of infertility treatments that left them full of debt and nothing else. She endured hard years of work in ministry as a Minister of Music and wife of the Senior Pastor. Then she was widowed at 54 and a few years later was on the precipice of death in the ICU. The path to regain her strength after she left the hospital started with a walking cane and shuffling around an indoor track in the dead of winter.
But she put one foot in front of the other and learned that her life can be restored, her grief can grow into gratitude, and her call to help others can lead her to new horizons that she never imagined.
Her call began with a word – splessed. After Susan recovered from her ICU visit, people would ask how she was doing and she would say, “splessed.” She felt “so blessed by God that she was spoiled – supernaturally blessed.”
Splessed became an acronym that she uses to help people navigate their grief, loss, pain and stress to find healing, hope, and new horizons. Her book, “Stressed to Splessed” and the follow up resource, “Companion Guide” are tools to guide people through the sacred space of grief.
It is a message of hope that Susan has shared at the United Nations CSW 69 Conference, college campuses, podcasts, radio shows, and social media. Her compassion and decades dedicated to service, qualified Susan to receive the US Presidential Lifetime Achievement Award for Community Service in 2024.
What would Susan say to the widow sitting alone in her on a chilly night in November? “I like to begin by letting people know that what they are feeling because of their loss, is normal. Take a breath, sit together, and then I lead them down the Splessed path to healing, hope, and new horizons.”
Hope in the Holidays. We can have hope, not because everything is perfect, everyone is happy, all the tables are full and all the jokes hit home. We can have hope because our lives can be restored. Our souls can be healed and this will give us a brighter vision of the horizon.
To help those who are hurting in the holidays, Susan has created a 12 Week Guide to have Hope in the Holidays.
● Week One – The Great Shepherd: Let this first week anchor you in the care of One who leads you toward healing, hope, and new horizons as you spend time reading Psalm 23. Ponder this – when you are feeling lonely and overlooked, remember that the angels announced the birth of Jesus to marginalized, lonely, but dependable shepherds in the field. God sees us and values us.
● Week Two – Surrender: “Surrender is an act of faith that happens after we beg God, remember His goodness, make our requests, and then leave it there are His feet.” Here are some tips for navigating holiday plans:
o Plan with flexibility
o Prepare for triggers
o Patiently embrace changes
o Protect your thoughts thru Christ
● Week Three – Did you know that we have Permission to Grieve? Loss has many layers that can affect us at different times and in various ways. When the holidays bring up memories that stir up grief:
o Pour out your hurts to God
o Remember His goodness – display pictures and keepsakes
o Sing – even thru tears
o Make a Thanksgiving List
o Dance – “I Choose Joy” by For King and Country is great!
Another aspect of permission is understanding that trauma can leave lasting scars on our mind, body, and spirit. The pot is cracked, but it is not worthless. Give yourself Permission to value the brokenness. God draws straight lines with crooked sticks.
● Week Four – Emotions run deep – especially during the holidays. But they are not supposed to steer the ship. They alert us to danger, warnings, and values. We feel deeply because we care deeply. What steers the ship is Truth. We must Lean into Truth. There is a danger in following emotions. Following emotions can take us down dead-end roads
● Week Five – We will continue to dive deeper into the truth that Emotions are a Gauge, not a Guide. The holidays can stir up so many emotions: memories that are warm and those that put a kick in our gut. We can dread certain dates and get togethers. When your emotions are beginning to overflow, here’s what I recommend you do:
Get ST.I.L.L: Stop Talking > Identify the feeling > Listen to God > Live to please God.
When you process your emotions through this grid, you will quiet your heart so you can listen to the truth – you are not alone, you can be thankful for the good, and you can set your face to walk in the light of these truths.
● Week Six – Still, Small Voice. I remember my first holiday season as a widow. It was unrecognizable – I was sleeping on a couch in my sister’s home, driving long distances with my dog and my Mom (both required lots of my attention), sobbing in a hotel room by myself, and finally flying to Germany to spend time with my German son.
Through this season of exceeding great hurt, I needed peace and hope. I found solace by intentionally carving out time to be quiet and focus on God’s voice through His Word.
In the rush of the holidays, it’s easy to miss the hush of Heaven. God rarely shouts over our chaos — He whispers into our stillness. The same God who came into the world as a baby in a quiet Bethlehem stable still speaks gently to hearts willing to slow down and listen.
● Week Seven – How can we Endure? TWO WORDS – Come Boldly. Hebrews 4:16 encourages us to “Come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need.” Do you need help? Tell your Heavenly Father. Do you need joy? Do you need strength? Whisper your plea to The Shepherd.
● Week Eight – Is it truly possible to Discover Hope when you are grieving, broken, hurt and living with pain or your life just feels stuck in a routine? You will Discover Hope when you follow God’s directions to Order your Steps in the Holy Bible, Obedience to His Word, Praying without ceasing and Endurance. If you are feeling stuck make a 2 Degree Shift – send someone an encouraging text, clean out a drawer, open a shade, buy some flowers for a friend. These small shifts can move you in the right direction of healing, hope, and new horizons.
● Week Nine takes us into the Season of Advent which begins with – Hope. Light a candle, let the glow shine on cherished memories, then share that spark with someone who needs hope.
● Week Ten is Peace. Hurting hearts can be restored to peace. When our minds are set on truth – we are not alone, we are loved, we are thankful…truth will keep our minds at peace. Trauma can take our minds down dark paths. Light the candle of Peace and set your mind on things above.
● Joy is the next week. Joy is not the absence of suffering, but the presence of something greater – the Great Shepherd. It is a choice to not fear even though you are walking the valley of the shadow of death. Why? Because the Great Shepherd is with you. Joy comes from trust, faith, hope and…
● Week Twelve – Love. This is the greatest gift. We are all cracked pots. Imperfect brothers and sisters sharing life with imperfect families. The greatest gift is being loved by someone who knows all of our flaws and still sent His Son to a manger in Bethlehem. Light the candle of Love and revel in the flame of relationship.
It is possible to have Hope in the Holidays even in the midst of hard grief, loneliness, hurt, betrayal, and the stress of life. Susan Troth has the splessed path to discover it and her mission is to share the gift of hope this holiday season.
Author, speaker, and inner-healing coach Susan Troth is celebrating a major milestone: her transformative book, Stressed to Splessed: The Faith-Based Journey to Find Healing, Hope, and New Horizons, has been honored with a Self-Help Category Award at the New York Book Festival, a national recognition that celebrates excellence in writing and meaningful contributions to readers’ lives.
